My Dying Wish
by harllett
Summary: As I lie frozen on the ice, inches from death, I think of you and suddenly things don’t seem so hopeless… [Dagonet POV] [Oneshot]


**Disclaimer** : I own nothing, yada yada yada…

**Rating** : Erm, K?

**Summary** : As I lie frozen on the ice, inches from death, I think of you and suddenly things don't seem so hopeless… Dagonet POV Oneshot

**Author's Note** : A wee little one shot, just playing around with an idea I've had ever since I saw the movie the first time that Dagonet is head over heels in love with Vanora!

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**My Dying Wish**

I have always loved you.

Ever since the day we first arrived in this godforsaken place, fifteen long years ago, I have loved you. I remember the first day I saw you, as I finally stumbled into the fort at Hadrian's Wall, the place that would become my home for a decade and a half. I was exhausted, starving, wet and cold from the torturous British weather, and there you were. Standing on a fence to get a better view of the collection of dirty, miserable waifs, chattering excitedly to your friend, your hair swinging around a beautiful face, framing eyes which sparkled with excitement.

Your face, your fiery hair, filled me with warmth on that fateful day, and the memory of it warms me now as I lie frozen on the ice. Inches – non, millimetres from death, I think of you and suddenly things don't seem so hopeless.

It was the image of your face that spurred me to run out onto the ice to defend the knights. Through defending them I defend you – if they live, they can protect you, and perhaps I will delay the Saxons a little while longer. And if Bors survives, he can protect you and care for you in a way I have never been able to, and now never will. My life is slipping away from me, but I feel no sadness and no regrets, as every ounce of me goes to defend you.

The world is a very unfair place. For a start, I have been forced into fifteen years of servitude in a foreign land, fighting for a cause which is not my own and which I do not believe in. But perhaps even unfairer than that is the fact I never had a chance with you.

I have thousands of reasons to hate the Romans, but one of the main ones is that a few days after arrival they sent me with a few others to deliver supplies to another fort further down the Wall. Bors did not go, and by the time I returned he had met you.

I remember those early days, watching you run from the tavern when your mother's back was turned, hurrying down the path with your hair streaming behind you, apron and skirts flapping in the breeze. I remember being questioned about Bors' whereabouts when we was absent from training, trying to pretend I was oblivious whilst dying inside knowing he was with you. I remember going into the stable and hearing you squealing behind the hay bales, hearing Bors' grunting laughter and wanting to kill him, wanting to get rid of him so I could have you for myself.

I thought it was just a fling, that it would end as quickly as it had begun, and then I would have my chance. But things rarely happen like you want them to, and after a year I had to accept that I may never get to make love to you. Within two years you were pregnant, and all hope was lost.

No, life isn't fair, as I know now more than ever. I should be free, searching for a woman even more perfect than you, to snuff out the torch I hold for you even after all these years; but instead I'm lying on a frozen lake slipping into darkness, with no-one to sooth my pain or warm my skin. How I wish you were here, my dear, sweet Vanora, so I could finally tell you how much I love you.

However, I know that even if I had a chance I wouldn't take it – I couldn't do that to Bors. We met on the treacherous journey to Britain, forming a bond which has deepened over the years to a state of unbreakable loyalty, even with you standing between us.

So now as darkness meets me and I disappear into the great unknown, my final wish isn't for you to know how I love you. No, Vanora, it is my dying wish that you are safe, that you live a long and happy life, raising your beautiful children in a land without threat and without fear. I wish, Vanora, that I could be the one to stay and protect you, but I know that task must fall to Bors. If I can protect you from beyond the grace I will do anything I can, but perhaps this sacrifice is all I can do for you. I die, Vanora, to keep you safe.

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**A/N :** Reviews loved and hugely appreciated! 


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